We consider relationships to be the fundamental, organizing strategy of our educational system.
Loris Malaguzzi, 1993
It is natural for children to feel anxious when saying goodbye to their parents and/or primary caregivers. Separation anxiety is a normal part of child development. It may occur later in the year or even pop up some time in elementary school. Starting preschool can stir up many feelings in two and three year olds, often conflicting feelings, I am big enough to go to school…but I’m also little still. It is new and exciting, but also filled with the unknown. What will happen there and who will help me?
As Johann recently expressed,
When I’m a grown-up, sometimes I turn back into a kid.
For Chris, when he is feeling sad after saying goodbye, Diane has been writing his words on a clipboard. He finds comfort in having his feelings validated and written down on paper.
Mommy. Mommy. Mommy. Chris. Chris’ Mommy.
In the following video, Chris is feeling sad and Mark and Jack are sitting with him. Jack has brought his bird over to Chris, who is sitting with his bird, showing Chris how his bird flies. You can watch Chris’ reaction to Mark, he looks back and forth between Mark’s face and his writing, as he expresses his sadness in missing his mommy. This interaction is creating a relationship of understanding and trust between Chris and Mark, and also creates an awareness for Jack, in his observation, he is also learning about trust.
When Kesler is feeling sad after saying goodbye in the morning, he is not comforted by having his words written down. We have gone outside, which Kesler has asked to do and Stella is with Diane as she tries to help Kesler with his sad feelings. (Stella had also cried for her mommy earlier that morning.) Remembering Kesler’s fondness for being silly, discovered at his home visit, Diane tries a bit of humor with Kesler.
Kesler: I want to go find my mommy now.
Diane: (holding up a plastic bucket) Is this your mommy?
Kesler stops crying.
(Holding up a sand shovel) Is this your mommy?
Kesler smiles…
(Holding up a plastic boat) Is this your mommy?
Kesler bursts into laughter.
Stella joins in on the fun and they are soon happily creating “Mommy cakes” in the sandbox.
The following day, Kesler has just said goodbye to his grandma at drop-off. Stella is sitting nearby, working with playdough. She notices that Kesler is feeling sad again and offers,
Stella: Diane, maybe we could make a mommy cake for him?
Kesler likes this idea. He wants to draw his cake though. He adds, I’m gonna make a grandma cake. We sit at the table set up with paper and crayons. Soon Chris joins us. Chris: My daddy. My dad’s gonna come back. Chris creates a daddy cake with crayons. They both want to hang up their drawings on the glass door. We hang them up with tape and then continue on with our day.
